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This Blog is a personal record and an honest illustration of my life as a full time embroidery artist. I hope that you find it entertaining and inspiring.

shown here are the Copyright of Louise Gardiner 2012.

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Damson Moments with Alan Titchmarsh

Oh Gosh ... what a lovely man!  
I am a new AT fan! 

Alan Titchmarsh (not Titsmarsh as I have been calling him by mistake for the last few days) was very calm, charming and hospitable and lovely .... Just been drinking Damson Gin with him on TV.  

As you do.

The Crafts Council put SpunGold TV in touch with me last week ... saying I was the contemporary stitchin' chick for a TV slot with passion .... thanks so much to them for that... Woop Woop....

So, after a very light sleep with lots of odd dreams about driving down the M1 on my sewing machine I woke up at 6am this morning with an hour to paint my nails and don my finest for the ALAN TITCHMARSH show. With 3 of the Saatchi 120cm square Embroideries and my colourful sewing machine and threads I waited for my taxi to arrive.

A Mercedes saloon turned up and I groaned.  
Flash yes.... made me feel like a A list celeb yes...leather seats .. yes... but I come with BAGGAGE baby.  There was no way to fit in all had I had to share with my new audience.

Half an hour later, whilst I topped up my nail varnish leaning on someones garden fence, a people carrier arrived and worked its way through rush hour traffic to the other side of London Town to ITV.  I was late... but reasonably calm,  a little hot, thirsty and my artwork had been bashing into my leg every time the cabdriver, who sucked sweets like a hoover all the way there, did an emergency stop.  I had smudged my nails (of course) and my newly pressed suit was caught up under the artwork and creased to death.

We arrived , several jolly runners ran out and carted me and my load in to the hectic studio.  It was SO TV!  I looked round for groupies but alas they must be busy.  We set up the stage set and my machine and lots of lovely burly men were lifting and tweaking my artwork .... and all I could think about was how clean their hands were and I kept politely saying 'Careful, whoops, ah careful, to me to you to me aghhhhh watch that careful.'

I was rushed to make up with very little time and I threw on my suit and flung up my hair with a million random grips and before we were done I was off for a rehearsal.  
And there was Alan T... who was LOVELY, really was so down to earth and pleasant and calming, just like I thought he would be really and then suddenly without having had time to finish my make up in make up it was suddenly announced that we were not going to the green room where I could buff my nose and tweak me grips but the cameras were gonna roll.....
AGHHHHHHHH NO ... shiny face superstar with dry mouth syndrome and no lipstick!  Its now or never Lou.

So I shouted STOP!!!!! 
"STOP THE CAMERAS" like a real celeb would.  
"Alan! I need Lipstick, you never know who might be watching.... somebody PLEASE pass me that bag!  I flung on some lippy and then that was it we were off, cameras ROLL!  
I caught sight of myself in the TV screens all around and could see bits of hair sticking out all over.  Sod it, I thought and downed half my glass of damson gin... its too late now .... you will have to rely on personality Lou.  Give it your best.... Oohh Jake's Damson Gin is gorgeous.  Another tipple.  

First the lovely lady with the jewelry and bags and then the lady with the fruit bouquets ... quite something they were! Wow ....

Then it was me! 
Alan walked over to me sitting behind my sewing machine like an old seamstress ... no one could see my new red shoes :-(   What to say first? 
I offered Alan a Damson Gin... and then my dear readers the rest is history .... You will have to watch it this afternoon  to see what I can only describe as pure sewing magic....... :-/  

The bloody thread snapped.  Almost immediately.  
But despite the snapping of fate and the ticking clock and the fleeting romance of it all, 
I have to say it was really good fun and I loved every minute ... 
ONE OF THESE DAYS I will get longer than 3 minutes and get to have a good old go at this TV thang.  I love an audience me, I cant help it ... its in my genes.  

Fingers crossed someone will spot me and one day I will have a quiz show coz I cant keep up this sewing melarchy... My hands won't let me. 

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Welcome to my Stitchery Witchery World. 

It might not be what you expect.



  1. Oh how I laughed Lou at your wonderful description of your day as a superstar!! Woof woof....I can just hear you shouting 'STOP! so you could lippy up in true celeb fashion.
    Thank goodness for damson gin...sounds like it was the saviour of the day. I'm sorry to have missed your 3 minutes of thread snapping fame...will have to see it on catch up!!!
    M xx



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