Louise Gardiner: Tui Tui Tastic!

Drawings from the New Plymouth BIRD workshop.

Aghhhhhhh, Bonjour!

Now what shall we talk about today?

The morning I woke up with foxes nibbling my elbows?

The moment I realised it was a dream?

The fact that I had all my hair cut off, my boobs grew and everybody thought I was fabulous?

The Moment I woke up and realised it was a dream?

Or Should it be the recent tidal wave crush I developed for Ray 'Take me to Welly!' bus driver with the nylon grey troos, the solid grey waxed quiff and the hand done tattoo?

Or the mad as a hatter chap in the patchwork hat at the private view I went to the other night who kept touching my arm and wanted me to join his church group?

Should it be the pretty impressive embroideries that the 'Welly Workshop Gals' finished this afternoon?

OR Should it be the "yoga" class that Ann, my lovely host and I went to this evening where we all bizarrely tapped and clapped the floor and waved our arms around in funny little circles, a lady started quietly snoring at the end in the lovely relaxation bit and when we 'Ommed' at the end it was so high pitched I had to stop myself from getting the giggles?

Or the HUGE slice of gorgeous traditional NZ meringue I was introduced to last night?

Mmmmm, Tricky decision. Let's see how it all unfolds.

First of all I would like to mention that my voice is undergoing a strange phenomenon and I have started saying strange words. I think its a mix of tiredness, too much talking and repeating myself but trying to sound original.

I wish I had a word measure.
Like the TUI bird here, I am beginning to imitate, except in my case its the NZ accent from my local students, whereas the TUI imitates other birds, cell phones, car beeps and all sorts .

It has to be said, the birds here are bonkers. As I sat having my lunch in a garden in New Plymouth, a big fat black bird (slightly bigger than your average pigeon) with a strange protruding spurt of white feathers fanning out under its chin would zoom and dive bomb past me and sit in this tree. It was a TUI. When it lands it comes out with a succession of noises in a row. It's hilarious! The closest thing to describe this is to imagine a collection of percussion instruments which you have never seen before in your life. John Cleese and the Monty Python crew could have been sitting in the bushes playing these and occasionally hopping out with trousers that were too short and bowler hats and the ministry of funny walks. Which I have to mention, I used to do at school and on family walks. I can remember my Dad imitating John Cleese in his walking boots.

A Tui

Tui be or not Tui be?

The trees are also bonkers.

The BUSH as it is commonly known is amazing. It is filled with trees and shrubbery (Monty P again) like those you would expect to find in a Steven Spielberg movie. I can so easily imagine strange and extinct animals walking through there. Its quite unbelievable.

Factual stuff for studious types.

The bush: dense native forest

In New Zealand the primary meaning of ‘bush’, or ‘native bush’ is the indigenous forest.

Before humans arrived around 1250–1300 AD, 80% of the land was covered with trees. Early Māori cleared the forest in some areas, but when Pākehā arrived in the 19th century, some 50% of the country was still native forest.

The forest was evergreen and lush, and consisted of two main types: conifer–broadleaf dominating the North Island, and beech in much of the South Island. Under the tallest trees were layers of young trees, tree ferns and shrubs, and lower still were ferns and sedges. Vines and epiphytes thrived, and mosses and liverworts carpeted the ground. The result was a dense tangle – particularly before the introduction of browsing animals such as deer and possums in the 19th century.

The bush was very hard to travel through, and Europeans compared it to tropical vegetation. As early as 1841 people were using the term ‘bush’ as a synonym for jungle. This became the dominant meaning of the word in New Zealand. In 1896 the mountaineer A. P. Harper noted: ‘In New Zealand the forest is always spoken of as “bush” as opposed to lower growth of vegetation, which is called “scrub”.

I saw a hexagonal bush the other day! When you look at it its like thousands of hexagonal all over the place in a mad bushy bush. Some have leaves like flat spiky sticks growing downwards then they change when they become adult! How mad is that? They look like something you would find under the sea. They have loads of branches to, some covered in frosty looking lichen. I have also seen Ghost trees and Orange Tipped Willows (these are my names as I don't have a clue what they are called). Ab bloomin fab they are. They probably have names like Wanga Wangas… or Kiki Kikis.

Im a big fan.