Poo on the loose

Oh what an arse, I am bored with my own company all of a sudden, I am sick of looking left or right and there is no one there to comment. what with one thing and another I have had a sudden realisation that I am now on my own, I have left my life as it was for seven years, life has already moved on where I left it, the emails are scarse and the studio is a long way away in all respects whether I like it or not.

I am homeless living out of a suitcase with one pair of shoes. OOhhhh How Wonderful you may think. I am very aware that as a sentence 'I am away for 6 months, travelling around the world' sounds exciting and adventurous and daring. It is daring. It is hard and you have to rely on yourself for everything from finding the way, finding a bed, carrying your luggage, managing your money, watching out for weirdos, watching out for scams, organising your trip, map reading, hostel finding and to be honest being a company junkie when I am not embroidering away I need people, happy company and I value close friendships.

You'd laugh.

Halfway through writing that sentence I had to let a lady into the hostel as she was rattling around with the door code and couldn't get it right.

Tie die T shirt, tatty embroidered purse hanging around her neck, San Diego T shirt, shortish, blue tinted specs and ' Oh Sure!' Cap, socks, sandals. Anyway got chatting as she was very chatty, lets say so enthusiastic a few specks of saliva hit me during the course of the conversation. Lovely though and guess what… from Bristol. So typical of Bristol. Used to work in a building around the corner from my studio. In the 1950's.

Oh Godd.

I have just had another experience…. the poor lady from Bristol then went to the loo. The next thingI know … I am trying to stop the toilet flooding as she has just done a poo, or should we say many poos, and I am standing there trying to hold the bull cock up whilst her poos are getting closer and closer to the the top … we are talking very close. The water was flowing over the top and I was there actually trying to catch the poos and the water with a cup to prevent floodage and wet shoes. Thank the lord I know about ball cocks ….. and you thought I was naive!! .. Lessons you learn as studio manager and being a famers daughter!!!

All the while the American woman, also in my dorm, only just met her, is droning on about how she cant get onto the internet and how important it is that she does … NOW! I have sent the lady from Bristol to reception to try and get help. The poo is overflowing and I actually fund myself trying to catch them and throw them in a bin.

I jammed the loo brush under the ballcock lever so it would stop filling the bowel and the guy from reception simply shut the door and stuck an out of order sign on the door. The American woman seems to be in a snot with me and our dear friend from Bristol has gone to bed!

Heres hoping that my loo brush lever is adequate and we don't get woken up by a poo disaster.

Aggghhhhhh, hostel life.

I bet you a tenner that at least one of them snores!

Lou the Poo Catcher. (could be my first best seller?)

Good night.